I look

I see

I see the signs

That is what I see

Because That is what I look at

Blatant signs

1111 1234 35813

I? There is this, controlled by other

I release a few arrows

Then, question GOD, I'm not even in control of these shots am I?

release.... top left of target

question.. you have just divided upon yourself, with your imperfection being what makes you perfect..

you are just playing with yourself..

release.... right of center, almost bullseye.. and I ponder the joys of pain... "playing with yourself" isn't on the mark.

you are lonely?

Dead above bullseye, on the borderline.. I'm close...

I love you! I am you, a part divided, and I give you my love and greatfulness, in the illusion of my seperateness... I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Dead below bullseye on the borderline..

The music that surrounds you, the music of life..

How you see it, the mood you get from it...

That depends on where you are rooted.

But when you place your root into everything,

into love and acceptance,

you can make whatever mood you like

you create your own song

by narrowing your awareness to the root of your choice

The notes that ring outside of your core, your root, hold only their relevance to your center

Ionian becomes Phrygian, Dorian becomes Aeolian...

Just rotate your root..

Imagine the image below printed out, and the outer ring cut out so it can rotate..

The "mode", or mood, depends upon the perceived root.

So, we get what we want.. law of attraction, etc.. 

The other day, while shooting arrows at a target across the yard with a youth longbow..

I did my ground meditation and projected myself into the target bullseye...

I put myself right there into it, and did not flicker in mind at all.

I pulled the bowstring back without thought, or aiming..

I let it loose and struck myself dead on... pulled the arrow into myself...

I was astonished, but then quickly put another arrow on and did the exact same procedure.

The second arrow nailed directly below the first, and almost looked like it split the arrow, definitely hit the other arrow and lodged beneath it.

This was just more confirmation to me, the concept of "I" and "me" only restricts my capabilities.. a limitation in this way.

I become the target, outside of myself, one with the target

I thought, this must be a meditation, and began thinking about all the people in Europe who did archery all the time, after church, school, etc..

how much of the bow and arrow is embedded in our genetic memories..

and then I found out about Kyudo... check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA2EnemzBpk

yeah I smoke, and when I exhale, I do the same as one of my meditation techniques..

I blow out all conceptions, ideas, language, and selfishness as I can.... breath in slow... careful that the mind doesn't twitch or flicker, and then exhale again and move it all further away... and again, and again, recovering from thought flashes, and reaching the limits of my expansion.

projecting into a sphere, or in a given direction... pin-pointing the energy.. fun way to play with dogs and cats!

Sierra lesson... told her not to eat too much halloween candy, she said a little bad stuff is good, cause it keeps your body fighting, etc.. ok, cannot argue with that.

I need to write this down as a reminder in case I get trapped in my head again.

I want to escape from words and ideas, and ground myself deeply into Mother Earth... 

so I may not post for a while after this one.

I feel like a large eye, inside my head, is blinking closed, not totally yet

But I want to close it... I have lived in my head, with the eye wide open, for all of my life as far as I can remember.

At some point a few years ago, I discovered I could move down, out of my head and into my neck, heart, etc..

I experienced an awesome high, that lasted all night long, and felt bliss and peace

I had to struggle to maintain it at first but it became easier, but then I awoke, back in my head the next morning.

I found I could project into animals and see their reaction, confirming that it was real

I lost this for a while, getting back into my head, trapped

Now, I have moved myself into Earth, where the experience is amazing

I feel like a lost dog who just found home when I do this, and it is a very profound experience

I have an overwhelming experience and just want to cry sometimes

I just want to stay there forever, but I realize the eye in my head must have a function

So I may decide to return, as I have now, just to write this out, but I need to grow in to my present course

Become one with my Mother Earth and all of her creations, without words, or thought

With my inner eye closed, out of my head, and even my body, to the center of Mother Earth.

I need to really close that eye completely so I will grow into what I truly am

abide with my Mother for a while, and learn of my source, no thinking, just experience

So I never forget and get trapped in my head again

All of those thoughts, ideas, etc... are a thin film that bars me from a totality, and so I now will let them float away

I cannot describe, descriptions are never true

I discovered my true source yesterday, and it is simple

I am Earthness

The function of ego + free will illusion I do not know

But the source of my being is in the center of Mother Earth

When I move my center of consciousness down into her

I really become alive

I realize that I do not need anything at all, that she cannot provide

I want to walk away from all the distractions, desire, wanting, and confusion.

All the thinking and ideas, I want to just walk away

And go into the forest and rest with my mother

What is kissing a boo boo?

Giving love to something that inflicts you

Giving consciousness to your sirens

Paying attention to the screaming pain

It is calling for a reason

Do not bury it with desensitizing vibrations

Answer the call

Be there

Do not flee, do not fight

understand, love, bond...

Kiss the boo boo!